This is part two of a series addressing some of the common questions and struggles that come up when I’m talking to people about gender, and pronouns.  

Introductions are about making an impression! They’re often awkward. Or even more likely, something that you figured out a while ago and now you don’t think about it except for maybe how tightly you want to squeeze someone’s hand in a handshake. But today, I want you to start thinking about adding something new to your introduction. Your pronouns!

While it’s a necessity for many trans people to introduce ourselves with our pronouns, it can be awkward and sometimes dangerous. For cis people, introducing yourself with your pronouns is not only an easy thing you can do as an ally, it also moves us to a place where we all have more personal ownership of our gender. It’s a gesture that comes with many bonuses, and I’d like to give you a few suggestions on how to do it.

First off, take the opportunity to really think about, and decide what pronouns you want people to call you. Maybe you’ve been using the same pronouns your whole life. Maybe they’ve worked for you so far, but what if just for a night, you tried on something new? There are so many pronouns, check it out: pronoun.is! As a side note, using different pronouns might seem daunting at first, but trust me, you get used to it quickly. (For help, check out part 1)

Alright, now let’s talk about those fun ways to add pronouns to your introduction:

The Classic

     Hi, I’m Sam, and my pronouns are he/him/his.

The Wrangler

     Hi, I’m Tonya “She/Her” Wilson

The Straight to Business

     Nice to meet you. I’m Bob, they/them

The Agent

     name: Felix pronouns: ze/zir

Also, consider adding your pronouns to your email signature, twitter/fb/insta bio, and other places you might be virtually introducing yourself. I use:

     Eden Knutilla (they/them)

     and

     Eden Knutilla

     Pronouns: they/them

It can feel awkward at first to add pronouns to your introduction, but I promise it gets easier. Think of it as a little challenge, a small way to break from your routine, explore your fears, and make some new neural pathways in your noggin’. It’s also a great ice breaker! Oftentimes when I tell people my pronouns, it’s like they snap out of a trance. We’ve all become so accustomed to the same old introductions that we kind of tune out. Why is it so hard to remember names? Because we aren’t really listening. But, adding your pronouns gives a little spice and sizzle. If they ask you more, you can talk about how it’s a small gesture that makes the world safer for trans people. Double nice!